Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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