Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
