i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
