Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
