I need help removing her.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
