Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
