Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
