shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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