Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
