Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
