Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
In America we eat man semen.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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