I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
