Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
