I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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