What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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