if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize