do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
