She said her name was "party"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
