Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Found the puke drawer
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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