You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
