he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
