dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
