I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she smelled like a LAN party
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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