a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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