It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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