He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
