weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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