The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
