So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
