i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
