Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
