Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
