Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
