I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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