You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
zippers are such a cool invention
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
