You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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