god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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