i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
