never play flip cup with pint glasses
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
