Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
