He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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