I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
