I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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