She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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