so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
