I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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