A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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