no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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