Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
