I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
